Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
