i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
