can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
