Will you blow on my dice?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
