discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
