I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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