I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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