Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
