I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
