you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
