the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
