in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Life is so much better after having sex.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
