dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
