oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
