Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
