im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
