how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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