i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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