I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
