i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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