I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
