I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
