wrigley field is MILF paradise
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
