like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
