If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
please come you make the beer taste better
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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