this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
