White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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