so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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