I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
