apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
