Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
