When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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