is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
How does one acquire holy water?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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