Soap is not a condiment
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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