Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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