She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
