I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
