Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
