Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
