And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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