capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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