I swear she didn't look like that last week.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
