Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
