i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
