i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
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