I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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