I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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