Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
