Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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