i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Green mimosas i think yes
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
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